While in Nashik, I worked as an outreach worker for 'Manmilan Multipurpose Social Organisation'. The main objective of this project was to work on the issues of people in the multi-gender community. Among their overall questions, the issue of HIV was very serious. When I started working, I was also learning all these things anew. I then learned that the place where the community meets is called a 'hotspot'. It was then realized that people who have more than one partner for the needs of physical connection engage in 'Hierisk Behavior'. I was worried along with learning.
Because I, ignorant of all this, was looking at one question before my own people came to the fore. Then I thought, why should the time of 'high risk behavior' be coming to my community? Why should we be forced to roam like a suspect in places like a 'hotspot' for a partner who provides physical and mental support?
While facing all these questions, one thing was realized. That is, a much larger group than those who openly accept their existence in the 'hotspot' and live a carefree life, living in hiding and intruding due to the fear of society. The impact of 'hierrisk' on this invisible community is greater than the visible community.
When I realized that this community discourages the use of safety devices in physical intercourse to show the other partner that we are not from that community and that we are safe, I started looking for contact with such people. It was then realized that this community comes in contact with each other through social media and certain websites. Everyone pretends to be safe and sound. It creates unsafe physical relationships. It is easy to say that these people should not behave like this. But why do they have to do that? I think this question is more important.
While searching for the answer to this question, it is realized that our social structure, gender narrowness and patriarchy here are responsible. Society treats those with a different sexuality as untouchables by declaring them deviant. Along with this, their families are treated with humiliation. For fear of this social conflict and alienation from self-identity, this polygender community does not declare its gender identity. Falsely tries to live up to social norms. This not only leads to their physical and mental abuse, but other communities with a majority of sexuality also suffer a great loss. To give an example...
He's a gay man. But under social pressure, he marries a woman who fits the definition of the majority. But even though Varkarni seems all right because of his lack of sexuality, he goes through mental breakdowns that lead to family feuds; Also, when he looks for a partner of his own sex elsewhere, he also falls into the circle of 'high risk behavior'. Over time, his wife and children also came into that circle without knowing it. Even if the person feels guilty about it, the society here forces him to live like this. From which he is also exploited.
She is a lesbian but there is no one around her who understands her. She can't openly reveal her existence to the family. From which she is forced into the framework of socially accepted definitions, or she accepts this system unwillingly. She was not only mentally abused in that relationship, but at the same time, her relationship with a non-sexual body becomes rape for her every time. But she endures it. Because she does not want to break the social framework here; it can be broken.
He or she is 'a-sexual'. It has no sexual urges. But people enter marriage under pressure and cause physical and mental abuse to themselves as well as their partner. She is transgender. But before this, without revealing it to society, he lives in a socially accepted masculine role. Also, married due to social pressure. but due to constant mental breakdown, she is unable to give happiness to her life partner. Becomes transgender. This thing also ends up troubling her majority female partner and leaving her alone on the path of life…
We have been enduring this for years, quite silently. Reasons are apparently disguised or hidden. But if we think carefully, we realize that these things happen because no one can talk freely about sexual identity and preferences in our society. We try to fit everyone in our typical mold. It does not give them a chance to express themselves. And no matter who expresses it, we try to force that person into a traditional and patriarchal framework, the loss of which everyone has to suffer.
That is why different sexualities must be accepted with respect. Along with this, while starting a new cohabitation, one should also know about each other's sexual orientation. Also, at the beginning of cohabitation, the HIV test should be done voluntarily and not under any pressure, understanding the responsibility. Along with this, the social and psychological difficulties of people living with HIV should be respected and lovingly accepted. Only then will we truly breathe outside the box, and we will live happily respecting each other, preserving each other's freedom…
