Those incidents stay home in the mind of the person who has been sexually harassed. Its effects can last for years. Those effects sometimes include physical distress, psycho-emotional distress. The relationship with society can also have different effects on one's own sexual health - sexual desire. We only spoke to singles in a certain age group (20 to 29). However, of those 1,240 participants (including boys, girls, and trans people), 917 said they had experienced some form of sexual harassment in their lifetime. Sexual assault or sexual harassment is any sexual act that takes place without express consent. Various forms of sexual harassment were revealed in this research.
- 25% of boys and 51% of girls reported that they had been sexually assaulted in a derogatory, obscene manner.
- Being sexually touched in an unwanted manner was reported by 35% of boys and 76% of girls.
- Being forced to be sexually touched by a stranger was reported by 11% of boys and 15% girls.
- 87% of them were under the age of eighteen when they were sexually harassed, and their persecutors were usually adults, but overwhelmingly male. 84% of the perpetrators were male and 16% female. 35% of the time the abuser was a member of the household or family.
- 10% of boys and 40% of girls reported being followed, chased, teased.
- 4% of boys and 35% of girls reported being sexually harassed through their mobile or internet. 5% of boys and 4% of girls were forced to view pornographic material.
- 9% of boys and 32% of girls were shown their genitals against their will by the other person.
- Not only this, 7% of male and 8% of female participants had been sexually assaulted. 75% of them were under eighteen years of age at the time. The perpetrator was male most of the time (92%) and female 8% of the time. 29% of the time this person was a family member.
- 3% of boys and 3% of girls had forced sex. Threats, lures or force/power were used for this purpose. (37 of the total participants reported this.) Of these, 30 were under the age of eighteen at the time.
- The perpetrators were overwhelmingly – 95% of the time – male and 5% of the time female. Usually, to the extent of one in three, this person belongs to the family. In most cases of sexual harassment, the perpetrator was older than the victim.
All these figures are not just figures. It reflects the social situation and the center of power. This is a very bad form of the society in which we live, grow up and act. The important question is what our reaction is, how will we deal with this issue. Another side of the question is that most of these people had not told anyone about their sexual harassment when they were sexually harassed, and most also said that it was the first time they were talking about it to anyone. He had never read about it in front of anyone.
The person we met on the 'wrong' number came home with an introduction and forced physical intimacy when we were of school age, and we were so frozen that we couldn't resist, be it the case, when uncles, aunts forced us, when mom found out about it. Let it be the case that she made us angry. Be it the case of a politician's grandfather holding his penis and asking him to sleep or a friend forcing him to take a video while he was drunk at a party. Whether it is the case of being sexually touched by the priest while going for religious instruction, or the case of the parents themselves keeping a camera in the bedroom to keep an eye on them.
Many felt that there is no one here who would understand us as a whole, and that our trouble is not worth anything here are in fact, it must be our own fault. Even when we say that there was nothing wrong with you, 'But I didn't oppose anything, I couldn't.' 'Who will you tell? He would have killed me.' “How to say? What will happen to him?' These questions are still there. Because we often don't talk about sex, neither children nor adults know how to talk about sexual abuse. In the research, many people reported feeling very light and free when recounting these events. There was nothing wrong with us – there was none. After understanding this, he said that he would have a peaceful night's sleep. But even while telling some of them, even bothering to say all this, those old memories came up,. I could not step into the house on the day of the interview. It was not easy to talk about this topic.
Many parents, schools and social organizations are working on how to prevent sexual harassment and child sexual abuse that happens on a large scale. . The POCSO (Protection of Children from Sexual Offenses Act, 2012) is also a law in India against child sexual abuse. His knowledge has not reached not only the common people, but also the people in social systems. It is also necessary to reach it in sufficient quantities. Some people have a mental illness that causes them to want to have sex without the other person's consent, or to have sex with underage children (pedophilia). As the urge to engage in sexual activity with children develops, they lose self-control despite knowing not to do so. It is possible for them to get treatment for that too, but they are not ready to talk about it. Not only this, there is no room in our environment to talk about power, control, anger, revenge, ignorance. This leads to exploitation.
But what do you and I, right now, do about it? What to do when sexual harassment is happening to your child, students, friends? What to do when something is happening before your eyes? What would you do if someone came to you as a social worker, as a police officer or as a responsible citizen asking for help? It is also a serious thing that we do not have clarity about it and that no one around knows anything about it.
Related circles :
- https://baimanus.in/stories-of-child-abuse-shared-in-youth-in-transition/
- https://baimanus.in/article-about-sexuality-and-mental-health-issues-in-todays-youth/
If you have been sexually assaulted, someone tries to take advantage of you, tell us, parents should say this in. But appropriate words and not just words, but we respect your feelings, your refusal, and we assure you that every touch you make will be safe. this should also reach the child through action. But often it doesn't work, in which case the child may not know how to tell the other person about sexual abuse. Assuming that something like this is happening, one should be vigilant about it. It is important to be aware of what exactly the child wants, not to ask things in a dignified manner and never to break the trust placed in you. After such an incident, there can be a sudden change in the behavior of children. If the child may suddenly act like an adult, start speaking differently, start touching people around inappropriately, ask where he/she saw this done. You have to make a conscious effort to make the child feel safe enough to come to you and talk freely. In fact, it is very important to have an environment everywhere where children feel supported, supported and empowered. Whether the person is a minor or not, the person who reports the abuse should never be blamed. There is a lot of 'victim blaming' in society where the victim is blamed.
'This is a small matter, why should he do it?' 'You think everyone is looking at you.' How come such things happen to you?' 'This happens to you because your clothes are like that,' 'Why didn't you tell me before', 'Why go out so late', 'It's bound to happen in a crowd', 'If it's such a hassle then do something else', 'Why did you wear the same thing after so many days?' ' Etc are many examples of victim blaming. Any reason or excuse like 'many people act like this', 'it always happens' is not appropriate as a reason for sexual harassment. The victim's voice not only shuts these things down, but also renders them thirty more helpless. These are the events that undermine the minimum respect and rights of the individual. We must understand that person's state of mind. There was nothing wrong with her in what happened, and it will never happen again. We should give this belief to all our little friends that there are many people who will stand by us and think if something happens. It will help any person to get out of trouble. It is important for parents to remain calm and reasonable, not to discuss the incident in front of that person. In that too, by keeping silent on the speech-crying-feelings of that person, one should not act as if taking all the helm in one's own hands. It does not guarantee that the victim will get help, that their feelings will be respected.
Some events are not entirely black and white. It will never be right to be quick to blame instead of sensibly understanding its nuances, to get away with judging those concerned wrong or right, to make decisions under the influence of revenge, anger, hatred, mercy, guilt. Therefore, in the case of such incidents, a decision should be taken calmly, prudently and thoughtfully. Not all of today's social or legal systems are perfect, but knowing and working with them is essential if we are to bridge their gaps. Even if the person who commits sexual abuse is not mentally ill, it is an act done by him out of a sense of power and control, because he is unable to control his desires, feelings or behavior. Help can be taken for that too. It should be taken. It is necessary for all involved in the police system to sensitively help that person in this regard.
Whether it is the person who is sexually harassing or the incident itself – both may need medical help, counseling, therapy. When talking about sexual harassment, the seemingly 'minor' incidents of street harassment, staring, etc. are often overlooked. The process of reporting crimes is a headache and the chances of getting anything in the end are low, so we 'let go' of these incidents to ourselves and others. Constantly convincing ourselves that these events will continue to happen or that nothing can be done about them, they are easily done blindfolded. But experiences like these cause a great deal of anguish and indirectly convey to you that your consent, your physical-psychic autonomy, is a matter of easy giving up, of little worth. In such a case, it is necessary for any person to fully support any person, keeping aside gender, age. But just like victim, blaming should not be done and also should not take the role of protector. It is very important for a man to protect a woman and a brother to protect a sister in our culture. But the attitude of 'do as I say, don't do that' also comes into play. A fundamental inequality resides in it. It is necessary to be able to see and recognize such events even from a distance. They should also be rejected as much as possible.
But if nothing else is suggested, if not forcefully achieved, at least asking the person if she is okay, listening fully to what she has to say, trusting her fully, being aware that she might be in shock, is certainly something anyone can do.
