Reproduction is the root of living life. But it is difficult to look at it as a simple biological issue. We keep looking at him as if this biological thread of love, jealousy, competition, sexuality , happiness is broken. But it is strong in the structure of our body and mind. (Even in same-sex or heterosexual relationships where procreation is not desired or possible !) But our social makeup is constantly telling us how to control our emotions, how to control our attitudes! It keeps imposing the concepts of right and wrong on us. If you have to ask why, it is wrong to ask the question. How would a woman feel if a man (not currently her partner) asked her about having sex ? Most likely to feel insulted, angry? Afraid? It may even feel like sexual assault. Put another way: What if a woman (not currently partnered) asks a man about having sex?
surprise? Excitement? Inwardly or outwardly happy? Doubts about that woman's character?
From a very neutral, biological point of view, is having sex in any way wrong?
Is it an abusive act? Is it a crime to do that?
So why these different reactions to asking?
This is due to social contexts that regulate sexuality differently for both men and women in a patriarchal system. There is nothing wrong with asking for sex. Asking for permission and simply accepting it when it is not given, there is nothing insulting or oppressive. In fact, this consent is the necessary agreement between two or more people before starting any sexual activity. This agreement should not be entered into under any duress, or manipulated by anyone and certainly not under the influence of alcohol or any drug. This consent must be voluntary. Voluntary and enthusiastic consent presupposes one's own willingness to participate in the sexual act. A person willingly says yes when he knows the meaning and consequences of the action and is free to say no; Only then does that consent have real meaning.
Consent is important for everyone, regardless of your gender or sexual orientation. Presuming male consent is also imposing it. We have words for double meaning about sex. It is said that almost every verb in Marathi language can be used dually, but only one meaning can be used, 'Yes. Thank you.' or 'Don't. Thank you.' But we cannot give such simple answers, then there is no alternative to disaster. Not knowing how to ask, not knowing how to answer a question, and not knowing how to accept rejection. While the subject of 'consent' seems confusing, the real problem is this. Just as asking is not an insult, neither is refusing. It is a personal decision as much as asking. Not understanding rejection, not accepting and asking again and again is definitely a form of sexual harassment. It is the right of every person to refuse and no one has to answer the question why. If that is the person's decision, that decision must be respected.
A monkey clan has one main male, the clan chief. All other males in the tribe are in awe of him. All the females in the tribe belong only to this main male. Only this narcissist is ruling over them. Which includes sexual rights. Which is important to this tribe. Any female in the gang leads the main male. It doesn't matter what their blood relation is. Even monkeys do not have this relationship. So, from a human point of view, this gang leader has sex with his five-six wives and his daughters too. His sisters usually get away with it. But the reason is different. This gang leader is challenged by other males in the gang who are coming of age and are eager for sexual pleasure. The main character has frequent fights with them. Many dangerous males are driven out of the gang, sometimes even killed. The rest of the remaining males live in fear of it. Males who come out are looking for opportunities. When the time is right, they again engage an older male, defeat him, kill him and take over the tribe. All the females in the tribe apply to him. As mentioned earlier, the clan chief's sister is not usually available to him because he has been ousted by the previous clan chief. He creates a new tribe with his power where these sisters are not. But if it doesn't happen, he doesn't leave them either.
All this may sound disgusting to read but it is the truth. Humans are born from such groups of monkeys. His sexual attitudes are still the same. But we are humans, so we are definitely different from monkeys. The difference is in the good manners of people. Humans develop not only physically but also mentally. For thousands of years we have been indoctrinated to behave well and live properly in social life, so our mindset has changed a lot. That is why man is not a mere animal but he is a social, cultural, intelligent, sensible animal. But even so, within all these layers, his brute form still survives. His primitive feelings are still intact. The strongest feeling among them is sexuality. Among men she still lives with equal passion.
By nature man is always male and all women are only females to him. This sentence may sound a bit harsh but it is the truth. From a man's point of view, all women are expendable. That is why a woman never satisfies him. On a mental and physical level he always wants the company of different women. He used to express these feelings openly when he was in a primitive state. He would fight for it and after winning all the females would surrender to him. That is no longer the case. Because during this period, monkeys have transformed from animals into cultured thinking people. It includes men as well as women. But some of the inner animal still survives. In men it survives to a greater extent because his primitive desire to obtain a female, his desire to enjoy himself, has not yet been completely extinguished. A catch with humans is that they don't have a specific mating season like other animals.
They don't mate just for procreation either. These two things have caused men trouble. And of course women too. Men of all ages yearn to attain this pleasure, as sexual feelings are awakened all days of the year and are associated with pleasure. Since we no longer live in gangs, certain conditions have to be met to get these pleasures. Marriage or prior consent of the desired woman are the two main conditions. Those who can complete it, their sex life begins. Of course, he is not satisfied with only one woman. Even while living with one, they always think of others and they satisfy themselves as soon as they get a chance.
But there is also a large number of men who do not get these opportunities, who cannot fulfill these conditions. They then find a different way out of it. Prostitution is an important way of doing that. Another is masturbating. The third is to satisfy oneself with men. Celibacy is also a way. But even with this many men remain unsatisfied who then try to get this pleasure by force. Our current social design is hostile to this, so many restrictions have been imposed on men in achieving this forced pleasure or overall sexual pleasure. After people accepted the family system, the institution of marriage, it was considered immoral to have sex with a woman related by blood. As a result, men lost their rights over women in their families. They had to turn to outside women for sex. It has to be remembered here that marriage was first called physical relationship. As a result, the competition for women among men became more intense. Because of the lack of recognition of free sex, these relationships became increasingly stealthy. It was considered a sin. Woman became a matter of men's, family's dignity and added to it. A woman's freedom disappeared under the domination of men and her privilege began. It also included sexual freedom. Since her desires and aspirations have no value left, not only she is afforded but so are men. There were severe restrictions on a woman's ability to enjoy the sexual pleasures she desired. It made it difficult for men to get the women they wanted. Sexual relations became more vulnerable as tests of moral character were made. A natural feeling has been overpowered by humans. We are now experiencing its consequences.
As woman became more and more independent in the process of man's becoming, her desires assumed the highest place. At least in principle. On the other hand, men's sexual attitudes are not completely forgiven. What this resulted in was women refusing to sleep with every man and men becoming sexually demanding and aggressive because they could not have sex with as many women as they wanted. This resulted in rape. It has to be kept in mind that men turn to rape after all other options for sex have been dealt with. This matter has become more complicated as this sexuality is related to love, sense of ownership, economic, social, cultural, political reasons. All men of puberty, with few exceptions, are men all the time, and their sexual feelings remain awake. It is only through moderation and prudence that men control their emotions. It is a difficult task but they have achieved it. It is true that they act like that at least openly. There is no need to tell what thoughts will be in their minds inside. This is their natural instinct. Women should accept it and look at them sympathetically. The wrong sexual practices adopted by our society are more responsible for male sexual aggression. This does not mean that rape should be condoned. Because we are human after all. We consider men and women as individuals, we recognize their freedom and their rights. The most important right among them is the right to sexual freedom. Men have no right to encroach on this sexual freedom of women. Therefore, sexual harassment cannot be supported. But that doesn't mean we should ignore men's sexual proclivities. A large number of women are victims of this sexual harassment. Both have to face the terrible physical and mental consequences of not getting sexual pleasure at the right age. A common man is crushed by these results.
If this is to be avoided, there is a need for a revolutionary change in our socio-psychological attitudes. Sexual harassment can be avoided to a large extent through free but responsible sex. But some incidents cannot be avoided because men rape not only for sexual pleasure but also often to teach a lesson to the woman or her family. A woman's virginity is also coerced because she is associated with dishonor to her, her family and her nation. Economic and political reasons are also responsible for her sexual exploitation. This means that unfortunately these types will never stop completely. We can try to reduce it, we can reduce the pain of raped women by treating them on an equal level without insulting them, we can get out of the perception that rape is a stigma, humiliation, end of life, all these can have a good effect. Yakami, of course, men have to take the initiative. Women also have to take it. Society also has to change itself. Only then can we do something about it.
