Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar has a famous saying, 'Make the slave realize that he is a slave will he revolt.' The word 'conscious' in this sentence is very important. Many people are not aware of it, so they do not accept that something is wrong with them. Now if we apply this test in the case of the freedom of Indian women of the present generation, if we look at some examples, it will be noticed whether this is real freedom or hidden slavery. Many people say that today we give the slogan of equality between men and women, and we act like that. Even if we look at this equality from the point of view of marriage, it will be seen that supremacy belongs to men. Wives still cheat on their husbands. Do their husbands cheat on them? Some progressive husbands allow their wives to have sex at home (permission is the key word here) but they don't like it outside. The husband's opinion is taken into consideration regarding which friends to talk to and which friend to bring home. A wife should wear a mangalsutra around her neck, wear bangles on her hands, even if it sticks on her forehead. It is constantly suggested that it is a sign of her good fortune. To get one husband for seven births, only women usually do pooja. If one says no, I should do pooja, I don't want you as a husband in the next birth, how many husbands will like that? How many women do not feel comfortable with all these things?
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It is said that the appearance of girls is not given much importance in the marriage market. But it cannot be forgotten that that importance has now come to her earnings. Even if her salary is less than ours, isn't she bound not to mix too much with the male colleagues where she works? Behind all these questions, there is a male mentality that your wife should listen to you, but even that woman is not bothered by her husband's behavior, because he is her husband, there is nothing wrong in having such expectations, so it is constantly impressed upon her that we should compromise, and she feels the same way. At least she doesn't protest. Suffers. Sometimes for his family, sometimes for children, sometimes for our wife, sometimes for society. But then, is this only a woman's responsibility? Is the house of the world only for women? Does a man have no responsibility? So the first issue is whether she is aware of her slavery. Second is the issue of whether what she thinks is her freedom is real freedom.
Crores of people have suffered persecution in the name of Manusmriti in our countries. But the sad thing is that the people here are of the firm opinion that this is not Jaach but religion. Its rituals are so dark that it is as if it is infused in our blood and no one sees anything wrong with it. Manu says that woman has no freedom. Father if a girl, brother if a sister, husband if a wife, mother or a son, all men would protect her, take decisions for her life and she would follow them. Do not act against it. Because she has no independent existence of her own. We can see this even today in every household where a husband scolds his wife, a son shouts at his mother, a brother asserts his rights over his sister and a father decides the life of his child. All of them feel no need to ask what the lady thinks. Unfortunately, they also don't want us to give our opinion. Now the situation is definitely changing but not completely changed. Because sometimes, when the time for the test comes, not only men but also women fail it. A man cannot get rid of his ego and a woman cannot rebel.
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One such test of a woman's freedom is at the time of her marriage. Many advanced girls remember their caste at the time of marriage. Many advanced parents are furious if their son or daughter falls in love with a son or daughter of a different caste or religion. How often to have intercourse, whether to have a child, when to have a child, how much involvement of the wife in the process of having a boy or a girl can also be known. In many places, it seems that the husband or wife does very good things outside, but at home, they behave quite the opposite. Their initiative, their progressiveness is selective. Reforms are made where they do not find them problematic, but reforms that cause problems are avoided for one reason or another. This two-faced face of equality can be seen in many places in society. This can also be seen in how we look at male addictions and female addictions. Men's addiction has dignity, but women's addiction ignites the flames of Kali Yuga. The responsibility of protecting the religion and carrying on the tradition is mostly placed on women. Men insist that their women keep their preferences the same as theirs or change them according to their wishes. If she shows an opposing desire, he feels insulted or doesn't love her. How many think that she as a person can have such independent interests of her own?
How often do people who consider themselves reformed today behave towards their sons and daughters tomorrow? If the husband decides to leave his job and do something else, many wives do not allow him to do so. That, too, when they are earning themselves. People will say that their husband lives in his wife's life, (they say) and they are ashamed of it. It is not possible for the wife to work and the husband to take care of the house, because that is not our mentality. A man feels humiliated, and a woman feels ashamed. Both are wrong here, but they are usually not aware of it. There are hundreds of examples to show that neither man nor woman can be said to have become completely independent. Secondly, this freedom should be continuous. It is a more difficult matter. We still have a long way to go. But the fact that we are thinking in that direction today is also encouraging, and we will definitely see its good results. Many problems can be solved if there is friendship in a husband-wife relationship. If this is the foundation of friendship in every relationship, many problems will be solved. In friendship, we become more open, more open and more understanding. This does not mean that all problems between men and women will be solved. Because there are many other factors behind it which are very difficult to eliminate. But nothing will happen if we don't try. I would definitely say friendship can be a good solution to those efforts.
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