Around us, we see many families where children are taken care of by their mothers. Fathers are dead or divorced or eloped. In many places, despite being a husband, he is of no use to his wife and children. He is an addict, a criminal, unemployed or sick and never gets attention at home. In all such places, the lady of the house takes care of the house. We can call them single mothers. But the single mothers I am going to talk about here are different. These are women who are not married but have either adopted a child or got themselves from someone. They have not revealed who the father of the child is. He had taken this decision very consciously. We are going to talk about these single mothers.
There is evidence of this in our ancient history. Satyakam Jabali is one of the famous examples. Satyakam is known only by the name of his mother, Jabala. He did not know about his father. He did not want it, nor did the society of that time reject it. In the past, it was customary for a woman to menstruate, i.e., when she came of age, she could ask any man of her choice for sexual intercourse during this period. The role behind it was that her menstruation should not be wasted. Of course, it is obvious that the intention to increase the population will also be behind it. That practice was later discontinued. But the identification of children by the name of the mother did not stop. In the Mahabharata, Kunti obtained a son through intercourse, who was known as Kaunteya. But they had to identify themselves as Pandavas to get social recognition. The number of single mothers has increased rapidly since then. That custom has been discontinued. She has no right to take care of a fatherless son. She had to take care of her children, possibly with the help of others. Then, to get the happiness of motherhood without consciously getting married, it is a very brave thing to either adopt a child or, even more than that, after getting pregnant with someone else, give birth to that child and take care of it. Because these things do not fit into the mentality of our society and people. They are considered anti-religious and anti-social culture. Neena Gupta found motherhood with Viv Richardson and raised her daughter alone. Sushmita Sen also adopted a daughter. She did not marry.
The first point is that there is no need to get married to a child. If a woman who is capable, decides that she don't want to get married, but I want a child and I am capable of taking care of it, what is there to object to in society? There is nothing wrong with principle. But this thing will not be digested by the society. Even the law does not stand in favor of such single mothers. It's not even that he goes against it. But in our country, where no documents are made without the father's name, the children of these single mothers are sure to suffer. Now we are giving importance to a mother's name, but it will be a long time before children can easily get certificates from her name alone.
Related circles :
- https://baimanus.in/article-about-prostitution-sex-worker-and-need-of-legal-acts-to-be-formed/
- https://baimanus.in/feature-article-on-women-body-and-sexuality-thinking-in-society/
Even if the law changes once, it is very difficult to change the mindset of society. We have to take the initiative for that. A woman is a person first. If she is able to stand on her feet, mentally and physically able to take care of herself and her children, then she is free to decide how and under what circumstances she wants a child. Being physically able here does not mean that persons with disabilities are not. Even blind, handicapped persons can take good care of their children. Physically disabled are people who are completely unable to take care of themselves. This includes addicts as well. If a woman aspires to motherhood, it is her fundamental right which she is free to fulfill in any way she wants. The condition that one must get married for that is wrong. Or to assume that she is not even married and cannot be a mother means that she is incapable of taking care of a child.
It was about her maternity rights. But once she becomes such a single mother, there is a need to change society's attitude towards her. Especially from a male perspective. Just because a woman is alone, with no man with her, does not mean she is available. This does not mean that she needs a man to raise her child. Especially in the name of this help, it is also believed that many men can get an opportunity to fulfill their ulterior motives. Moreover, it does not mean that she should not seek help from other men, or that if she rejects herself, she should also reject other men, that she has no right to interact with other men. She is the only one who has the right to decide whether to bring any of the three closer. It does not mean that you should reject your male friends just because you reject your rightful man by marrying the three. Or if the third man refused, then if other men around her they are take the attitude that they will not help her now, that would also be wrong. No doubt, digesting all these things first and then acting accordingly is a bit difficult even for today's men. But given the current climate, we can certainly hope that men of such thinking are not at all rare.
This applies not only to single mothers but also to single fathers. The same applies to same-sex parents. Because wanting a child is a perfectly natural feeling and there is nothing wrong with it. There may be some exceptions, but it is their decision and should be respected. But to think that if I want a child, I have to get married or that I will have the right to have a child with a person of the opposite sex, it is like hesitating our personal freedom. Many people will object that this will destroy the institution of marriage and family. Although this is a risk, such things will be the usual exception in society. They will not be converted into rules. Second, such single families are not completely isolated. People in their relationships, friendships and love are always walking around them. There is no need for extreme thinking today. If such an event occurs, then we can definitely find some solution to it, but it would be unfair to disrespect the decision taken by some people now, thinking of something almost impossible in the future, and denying them permission. Let us hope that this topic and all such heterosexuals, homosexuals, single mothers and fathers will always have our support from this platform.
